What a shame. What an absolute fucking waste. We've hit yet another record, TD. A failure record. Seventeen of you simply couldn't be assed. Disgusting. You better believe that, if I could, I would drop each and every one of you through a trap door into a tank of venomous spider sharks made of spikes.

I'm going to give you an unprecedented opportunity. I don't even know if any of you gritless, dithering do-nothings will even be into it . You're probably going to make me look silly for even trying.

If you are on this list:

Bompacho
Posthumor
Jonked
Overwined
JcDent
OfChristandMen
Doctor Idle
simplefish
RedTonic
Claven666
cargohills
Wangless Wonder
Jay O
docbeard
ravenkult
Thyrork
lost old man

You are invited to participate in a special failures-only brawl. The brawl will only go forward if at least four (4) of you indicate that you are in.

Your prompt is to tell me a story from the perspective of the villain's pet monster. The winner will get a brawl victory, a line crit, and the knowledge that they aren't as much of an abject failure as the rest.

Don't fail me again, assholes.