OK CHUNDERDUDS, LISTEN UP. Your assignment this week is to write some dialogue that doesn't fucking suck a giant turd out of a literary butthole.

We are focusing on DIALOG this week. Like, the stuff in between still needs to matter, but the person who wins this week will give me the most engaging coversation. There are some contraints your entry must fall in:

1. The entire story must be one conversation between two characters. Your chars can change locations, etc, but it must be one unbroken convo.
2. At least half of your story must be dialog between these two chars. I will fucking count, so don't try to scam me.
3. If you have more than two characters, THEY CAN'T FUCKING TALK.
4. You may not use a dialog sentence shorter than 5 words. No "Yeah"s, etc.
5. No cussing. Use personal discretion here.

I do not expect you to wrap up a story this week, so vignettes are cool. This is literally just you writing a fucking good conversation between two characters. So that you can laser focus on the dialog, you have a small limit of 500 words. I want this shit edited. I want it sharp. I want Moonlighting meets Gilmore Girls meets Pulp Fiction.

A few tips: Don't have characters say their emotions, and don't use words to advance the plot. For example "I can't believe you cheated on me, you jerk!" or "we must get to the movie theater!" are both fucking stupid sentences to write. "I'm surprised you could find a floozy without a sense of smell," or "'Ghost' is playing at 10, and if we miss it I'll impale myself on a pottery wheel" are both better, because they tell you the same information but aren't just stating the obvious. These sentences further characterization while imparting information. Also, don't drone on and on and on back and forth. Break it up with actions.

Write your story. Hit your story beats, then go back through and start thinking how you can tweak each sentence to say something interesting rather than something obvious. A good sentence will do both. Good luck!