« Week #431 - Canterbury Tales: Blood Throne Edition »

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Date: 11-02-2020
Word Limit: 1500
Words Written: 16,383

Judges (crits):
Dr. Kloctopussy

Audio Recap: Week 431-437 blitz
Week Archivist:

Bifel that, in that seson on a day,
In Thunderdome at the Tabard as I lay
Redy to wenden on my pilgrimage
To the Blood Throne with ful devout corage,
At night was come in-to that hostelrye
Wel nyne and twenty in a companye,
Of sondry folk, by aventure y-falle
In felawshipe, and pilgrims were they alle,
That toward the Blood Throne wolden ryde;

A new king requires patronage, but the Blood Throne is inconveniently located. Luckily, you do not need to travel the road alone, for I and your fellow travelers from across the multiverse will accompany you, and regale you with myriad and sondry stories, in exchange for your own.

Who am I?

The Narrator
According to Sparks Notes: The narrator makes it quite clear that he is also a character in his book. Although he is called Chaucer, we should be wary of accepting his words and opinions as Chaucer’s own. In the General Prologue, the narrator presents himself as a gregarious and naïve character. Later on, the Host accuses him of being silent and sullen. Because the narrator writes down his impressions of the pilgrims from memory, whom he does and does not like, and what he chooses and chooses not to remember about the characters, tells us as much about the narrator’s own prejudices as it does about the characters themselves.

Which member of the party will you be?
Sign up, and you will be randomly assigned one pilgrim from the Canterbury Tales, and one semi-random adjective (I'm not going to give out boring adjectives). Will you be the Electric Knight? the Shivering Prioress? the Pathetic Man of Law? Sign up to find out!

Each pilgrim will be assigned only once. There are two pilgrims that come with surprises.

Your pilgrim should somehow relate to your story, at least a little bit, maybe. They do not have to be the main character of your story. They do not really need to be telling the story, though that is how it works in the actual Canterbury Tales. You do not need to read the actual Canterbury Tales -- I am certainly not going to! Your story does not need to be set in the middle ages, or be written in Middle English, in fact I would really prefer it if you did not write in Middle English.

Sounds simple, right? WRONG.

This is a five day pilgrimage. We are going on a trip. Things are going to happen. Will they be bad? Definitely. Will they also be good? Possibly.

First, you will need words to spend along the road. The longer you travel with us, the more words you start out with. But that doesn't mean you'll end up with more at the end! We are all honest travelers here, so no words will be stolen from you. Whether to spend or save is entirely in your hands.

Monday: Sign ups will get 1500 words to start with
Tuesday: Sign ups will get 1400 words to start with
Wednesday: Sign ups will get 1300 words to start with
Thursday: Sign ups will get 1200 words to start with
Friday: Sign ups will get 1100 words to start with

Each day we will have a special encounter. You can spend 100 words to avoid the encounter. If you do not like the results of the encounter, you can spend 200 words to purify yourself of its effects.

Oh wait, you actually wanted simple? If you wish to avoid all encounters, you may hire a private coach. Your word count will be locked-in at 1000 words, but your trip will be much more relaxing.

At any point, you may :toxx: to purchase a mystery item from the Hideous Hermit on the Side of the Road. I DO NOT RECOMMEND DOING THIS. The Hideous Hermit is well known for selling goods that are fraudulent, defective, or worse. Do not be lured in by the promise of a "free gift with purchase." You may get 300 extra words, but you will surely regret it.

Those divers things which art forbiddene
No google docs, no editing your post, no political screeds, no erotica, no non-fiction, and no fan-fiction, unless it is about Chaucer, the Canterbury Tales, King Arthur, or Sailor Moon.

15 Total Submissions, 2 Total Failures:

Failures who signed up but did not submit: