Right you useless assortment of jackoffs and fuckarounds the judge throne has had some regrettable renovations since last I planted my ass in it. This has made me angry. There's tinsel all over the skulls and a half-empty can of VB on the arm shit chairchucker how do you even drink that stuff.

This week you are going to pick an Oscar Wilde quote and make a story round it. Wilde was hilarious but he had some pretty tragic shit happen to him. So your story must be either tragedy, or comedy. And don't tell me which, for gods sake, if I can't tell from reading it then you've failed.