Good afternoon Thunderdome! I hope you enjoyed your trip through the sewers last week. This week, we're going to be dealing with weird shit. However, I humbly request that you not deal with literal shit, you Freudian fucking weirdos.

Please pick a link from the following list: Unusual Articles and use it as the basis for your story. When you post your story, indicate what link you chose.

In addition, your story must be believably told through the eyes of someone of a gender different from your own. Interpret this exactly as written. If you start an argument about gender, I will set you on fire.